The first girl-on-girl kiss suggests nothing. You are not
really
a lesbian until such time you’ve already been struck with meals poisoning at a vegan potluck you went to along with your ex. Listed here are 14 such symptoms that prove i am homosexual.
Committed we involved conditions using my sexual identification while majoring in Womens Studies and performing in a production of
The Vagina Monologues
at a liberal Midwestern university.
The time I happened to be on speaker telephone using my ex-girlfriend while she along with her present gf drove to dinner to commemorate their own twelve months anniversary. While I paused to order beverage at Starbucks, I heard into the history, “I can’t believe it has been twelve months,” next we went back to talking about my passionate existence.
The time a huge nose-studded lesbian pushed me at an Ani Difranco concert.
The time in high school once I tried to convince my sweetheart we mustn’t breakup by composing him a 12-page page and insisting we talk about it while having a three-hour stroll. It counts considering the protracted control as well as the undeniable fact that he had been wearing Tevas, a plaid shirt, freight shorts, a leather jacket and also this renaissance fair-style leather-based band around their head that day.
The time we decided to go to an
L Word
viewing celebration with my drunk bisexual friend in addition to lady we liked and my buddy informed the lady’s closest friend I happened to be enthusiastic about the girl while the woman offered the girl leftover hamburger to the woman ex-girlfriend who I hadn’t recognized till then was at the following table immediately after which Bette made that face in which she appears like she’s about to cry before lecturing some homophobic philistine about modern-day artwork.
Committed I went to three Lilith Fairs in one single few days.
The time we moved in with my girl after merely 6 months because lesbians obtain under gay males so I had been broke and because I didn’t trust the girl to locate a roomie who was simplyn’t a former addict.
The amount of time we instructed a spin class the playlist for which included Tegan and Sara and Lesbians on Ecstasy and a dyke during the straight back gave me the lesbian nod when “Pleasure Principle” started.
The full time I went along to see
Tall Art
double in a row with a “friend” and afterward it began to rain although we waited for coach and then we stood under her umbrella and stared at each various other for twenty minutes and absolutely nothing took place until we had intercourse three weeks afterwards.
The amount of time my sweetheart and my personal ex-girlfriend took their own dogs camping with each other.
The time my after that girlfriend and I also came across a couple of ladies and their husbands at an Indigo Girls concert and my personal gf got into a pissing match with the guys because she believed he was after her place right before Emily but really he had been merely sort of randomly surly and therefore ended up being she and I thought the ladies had been sisters but a-year later on they left their particular husbands for each and every additional and went on to see a lot of concerts with our team and quite often we’d all get into fights about whether Starbucks or indie coffee shops were better alongside occasions we’d merely go right to the beach or something like that.
The time(s) we went along to yoga with Carol Anshaw then purchased organic fresh fruit a while later.
The time we played Liesl in an university creation of
The Gay Sound of Music
in addition to lady portraying Maria was required to mime going down on myself and even though the woman face was actually in fact a foot from the me personally I instinctively told her “only a little to the left.”
The amount of time I had written a novel about obsession.
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